tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post116240892353696932..comments2024-01-22T06:11:30.715-05:00Comments on My Musings: Strangers And "Apne Log"Vidhya Rajeshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13253651706729255817noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1163286348149511512006-11-11T18:05:00.000-05:002006-11-11T18:05:00.000-05:00I think Indians have very inquistive behaviour. In...I think Indians have very inquistive behaviour. Instead of talking about general stuff ( I am not sure how much they know) they resort to personal questions like do you work ?, where do you work ? or do you have green card ? (especially the newbies to US ) or where your husband works?. Why do you ask such a question to strangers ? I had a really bad experience with my next seat neighbour in a flight. She was a person trainer from Bombay. I understand her excitement on coming to a new country and being on a plane for the first time, but generally I don't do useless or I should say irrelevant talk for hours. As a techie I even talk comparitively less. If Indians have decency to maintain a distance I would be more than happy to say a Hello !!<BR/><BR/>I have heard being part of Indian groups being more than a nuisance then a friendship. My friends used to grudge how they cannot miss someone for a party or keep up with groups expectation (like visit if someone else parents visits and stuff). Hmm and dont forget the cheap Indian gossips that goes around.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1163190222896379392006-11-10T15:23:00.000-05:002006-11-10T15:23:00.000-05:00I feel ya, Vidya!:))It's just nice to be nice! We ...I feel ya, Vidya!:))<BR/><BR/>It's just nice to be nice! We don't lose anything,do we?!FHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16120251231228218853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1163086297180319292006-11-09T10:31:00.000-05:002006-11-09T10:31:00.000-05:00hey where did my comment go missing - I left a pre...hey where did my comment go missing - I left a pretty long one...shall I bawl? or sulk?<BR/>Really blogger chews up my comments all the time!Ushahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00179239922869639391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1163022698007450752006-11-08T16:51:00.001-05:002006-11-08T16:51:00.001-05:00I am reading this article and suddenly this blog c...I am reading this article and suddenly this blog came to my mind. I thought it might squeeze in this topic of mannerisms..<BR/> <BR/><BR/>Nandu Madhekar<BR/>18 July 2006 <BR/><BR/>Indians and Mumbai residents may not say THANK YOU and PLEASE as often as Americans and Europeans do. They may appear rude, but they can be most helpful and human when one needs it. Is that not better than all the hollow mannerisms that are parroted around? <BR/><BR/><BR/>http://www.samarthbharat.com/rudeindians.htm<BR/><BR/>- PrasannaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1163022697492879742006-11-08T16:51:00.000-05:002006-11-08T16:51:00.000-05:00I am reading this article and suddenly this blog c...I am reading this article and suddenly this blog came to my mind. I thought it might squeeze in this topic of mannerisms..<BR/> <BR/><BR/>Nandu Madhekar<BR/>18 July 2006 <BR/><BR/>Indians and Mumbai residents may not say THANK YOU and PLEASE as often as Americans and Europeans do. They may appear rude, but they can be most helpful and human when one needs it. Is that not better than all the hollow mannerisms that are parroted around? <BR/><BR/><BR/>http://www.samarthbharat.com/rudeindians.htm<BR/><BR/>- PrasannaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1162906352467655202006-11-07T08:32:00.000-05:002006-11-07T08:32:00.000-05:00This is so surprising because foreigners who come ...This is so surprising because foreigners who come to India are always praising us for the warmth and friendliness and hospitality. Why is this happening among Indians?<BR/>Is it because Indias friends are no longer tough to come by in the U.S., that you don't feel that pull towards a fellow contryperson?<BR/>Is it because we have a reputation of being nosey and getting too friendly that people want to keep their distance?<BR/>In any case, I would be very hurt to see this kind of treatment.<BR/>Interesting, as one doesnt always hear stories like this from people living in the U.S. It is always about how everything is sooooooo good there and how everything is soooooo bad back home!Ushahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00179239922869639391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1162575470406795482006-11-03T12:37:00.000-05:002006-11-03T12:37:00.000-05:00$$Kumari - You are very right. I have heard of man...$$Kumari - You are very right. I have heard of many cases where people were bothered with these kind of 'sales tactics' - why even my Mr. had such a bad experience. <BR/>No wonder people don't want to make small talk. But , why only Indians resort to such stuff? Just because a couple of them turned out to be rotten eggs, now almost everybody in the indian community is fearing to talk to the other in indian community.<BR/>You know a lot of it comes from our inherent nature I feel. The point that you mentioned - "Should i call her to my place now that we haved talked?" - this fact is also something that weighs a lot on the mind preventing us from starting just a casual friendshi - because the moment you get talking, it becomes mandatory to invite the other person/family home. WHY? Why can't we just meet in bus/train/office, have a conversation ; say a bye and continue from there on the next day? <BR/><BR/>Anyways - thanks for the 2 cents :) They were really good thoughts!<BR/><BR/>You better smile and invite me home when i come to Nashua - illaina nalla adi vizhum!Vidhya Rajeshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13253651706729255817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1162569175973895362006-11-03T10:52:00.000-05:002006-11-03T10:52:00.000-05:00You know i think the reason is coz distrust and cy...You know i think the reason is coz distrust and cynicism is ingrained in us. Growing up in a city like Madras, the first commandment I read was 'not to smile at strangers'. So i always had a stony face; unless it was a familiar route and I knew everyone from autowallahs to the bus drivers, in which case i did smile.<BR/><BR/>Initially I found it hard to relax here, tho I knew it is safe to smile at co-passengers in the train, strike up conversation with the bus drivers etc. After awhile I started smiling and even greeting the Americans :)<BR/><BR/>But am still not comfortable doing that with Indians. The las time I did so in a grocery store, the Indian couple took down our numbers and then started calling us with some sales talk. And after hearing testimonials from friends on the 'QuickSta' and 'Amway' group parasites who clingonto fellow Indians, I kinda of froze when it came to greeting Indians in the mal or anywhere.<BR/><BR/>At times I smile but most times I just stick to my world. And u know what, i guess i don't regret it so much :)<BR/>U know i wanna have conversations that are fun but last only for the ride. It's okay with me not to exchange ph.nos or be invited and become jigdi dosth. Most Indians are not ready for that i feel. Everyone has this inherent fear, "what if she asks for my number? Should I invite her home coz we live in teh same apt?" that i just let them be :)<BR/><BR/>Sorry for the long comment. My 2 cents :)<BR/><BR/>But yeah, if u ever move to Nashua, i will def smile at you :DKumarihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16825089375910199320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1162492013899451112006-11-02T13:26:00.000-05:002006-11-02T13:26:00.000-05:00$$ Gomes- Maybe you are right. But sometimes it is...$$ Gomes- Maybe you are right. But sometimes it is too irritating when you try your best and get hardly a response.<BR/><BR/>$$ Chandrika - I can totally understand what you say. When I lived in NJ, the whole building we stayed in consisted of only Indians, but not one would say a hello or smile. Strangely I found this 'bad habit' in B'lore also. But I must say, one day while walking back from the grocery store - I met an Indian lady who was so sweet - she became friends with me and invited me home also. I do hope you find some good friends.<BR/><BR/>$$ Trupti - I really don't get it. Why should one feel inferior/superior wrt to people you have never even met before. But you are right - I have seen this attitude a lot. Am glad that you belong to the 2nd lot - who love to atleast acknowledge with a smile.Vidhya Rajeshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13253651706729255817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1162427878589008592006-11-01T19:37:00.000-05:002006-11-01T19:37:00.000-05:00I have noticed this many times..some people will j...I have noticed this many times..some people will just ignore and move on without a response,maybe its about self-esteem, who knows? There are many Indians who feel inferior/superior to other Indian folks just like them and it shows, in their behavior,( I could write a thesis on this!)but, then again, there are those who just yearn to see another Indian face in the crowd and will pleasantly smile and even start a mini conversation...Me, I belong to the latter..there arent that many Indians here in Nfld. and I just love to see people from India and I always smile and say a big hello! Whats there to lose?<BR/><BR/>Cheers,TruptiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1162424898227951302006-11-01T18:48:00.000-05:002006-11-01T18:48:00.000-05:00Vidya, I totally agree with you. Do you remember m...Vidya, I totally agree with you. Do you remember my grumbling about not having enough friends out here? In just my building alone, there are 5 Indian families and even when we meet, not a smile on their lips or a twinkle in their eyes...Even when I smile or try to start a conversation, their cold looks and abrupt answers make me feel so stupid... In the 80s when I lived here with my parents, things were different...A fellow Indian on the road was a welcoming sight and a new friendship would be created...Well, I am not asking much...Just a smile would do..Chandrikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16278347737248767924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12867205.post-1162418547677643932006-11-01T17:02:00.000-05:002006-11-01T17:02:00.000-05:00Hey .. its not that indian ppl lack the ability to...Hey .. its not that indian ppl lack the ability to smile.. its just that we are not used to it.<BR/>May be we Indians are so deeply involved in a gazillion thoughts all the time..or may be we dont know what it means to pass on a smile.. Remember, the female crowd have started coming out for work say 100 yrs back.<BR/><BR/>You pass on your wonderful smile and I am sure, they will smile back at you.. if not today.. they will defenitely smile at you some day. Lets change and bring the change in others :)<BR/><BR/>:)Gomathi Sarmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15784815762668996577noreply@blogger.com