Monday, July 25, 2005

Of Routines and Changes

Life is full of routines and changes in them .... and i detest changes ..
You could say, I am scared of changes....
How often we feel familiar with something that we see, hear and feel no? That one sudden day, when all that we are 'routinely' used to changes, we feel lost somewhere unknown ... but then again , if you notice, the beauty of life is that , unknowingly and very cleverly a routine gets set in this change also ...
My life has always been one of routine and order(if not to the extent of an army order - much orderly than many)... I liked the routine of my life and would always make an attempt to add new things to my daily list of activities ...
In College it started with getting up early, and brushing up college stuff/catching up with my diary writing/reading a most interesting novel that i had laid hands upon , taking a bath at 5:30 or 6:00, for that is when the whole clothes line would be available for me ... do a bit of puja(got more inspired by Lalli's daily chanting of the hanuman chalisa for about half an hour or so... ), and get ready for b'fast and college.... I was inspired by my dearest friend lipika , to keep myself on toes about what and when i did ... I will never be able to forget that image of the thin, stalk like figure holding her spoon and plate and standing in front of the mess at DOT 7, waiting patiently for the "Avvas" to finish setting the dinner items ... She was a human digital clock and so was her stomach, which never missed a second ....
When I left my first job and joined the new company, I found it very difficult to adjust to the sorroundings and people... I missed those chatty lunch sessions with the girls, those teasings , the tool called "IPMSG" ... A guy whom i referred to as "Asuya" ... and so many things ... I would crib everyday to Rajesh, to my friends that i did not like the new place .... But slowly and steady, there were a few things that i started noticing, following, doing .... and slowly every morning would look forward to that little "Chart" of activities of mine - to see , to talk, to do .....
Each time I went onsite, on the last day at offshore, while going back home in the office bus, i would sigh and feel very very sad at missing those familiar sights, would feel the churn in my stomach as to how things would be at the new place .....
When i got married and came to Chennai, It was soo difficult to digest the fact that I would not be having lunch with Subha and Meens anymore, i would not have them to shoo away my problems, give me solutions, share gossip ... I was feeling scared of the new project i would get it , was feeling sad at going away from familiar close team mates like Rupa and Viji .... And indeed , i found it difficult for a long time to adjust here ....
but now i have my own routine .. waking up, making boost , hurrying to get ready for office, rushing to catch the 7:50 bus, always missing it and making for the 7:55 one instead .... switching on my radio after i get into the bus first thing ... browse thru the 'filmi' contents of BT, before moving to my fav. SU-DU-KO, feeling satisfied at having solved it in a few minutes, quickly finishing the jumbled words and then mulling over the crossword - and finshing it all my vowing that i will never try that 'Stupid' crossword again ... :) ...
As I matured, i understood that changes are inevitable in life ... and that it does take anybody some time to adapt to a change -> some do it faster than others ... some like me long for the familiar so much that they miss out the new and better things in the change ...
I am also 'changing' this habit of mine to get more used to 'changes' .... but the routine in me finds it difficult to adjust my 'routine' to accomodate a 'change' .... ;)

1 comment:

The circular corner said...

The new layout looks *good*. The old one never used to render properly on firefox. This one does. :)